Had a job interview/meeting today for an on campus web design position. I think it went well and I'm soon to be hired but still feeling um, not good... not sure why. Must be the fact that I try to study related rates in Calculus and not getting it, I try studying Mendelian genetics in Bio and not getting it, and other factors that just keep bringing me down. Well, I got an Calc exam and a Bio quiz tomorrow that I am not at all too sure of. We shall see how the next few weeks turn out, I personally think it will suck but I'm always pessimistic.


College is beating me up again, have not gone to the gym in a while, programming projects are due, I study for exams that I barely pass if I pass at all, and I am not having any kind of fun. Too uncertain about life, feeling lonely and it's starting to hurt. Daily headaches at times when I need to be productive and get things done. Feeling negative, pessemistic, uncertain, everything out of order in my head.

Well that's ma situation right now. Hope I get into a better state. In the mean time, like I said, college is beating me up. I gotta really buckle down and learn calc and study ahead there. Then I gotta do my programming project. Just pay more attention in microeconomics and memorize all those terms (marginal benefits, cost, consumer/producer suplusses...), and then there's bio which I did pretty damn bad on my first exam. Good news is that they let you drop one. This will probably be it, but then I better get close to a hundred percent on all the up coming ones, it's not looking good there. Gotta service my temporarily donated car, going to try to wake up early tomorrow and come back asap.

Don't know what makes me happy... college football is slowly losing it's bond with me but I still like spending all Saturdays watching it. Vectoring and veiwing art been keeping me entertained again. In fact I will dedicate Fridays after classes, a vector day. Will hope to produce one every week. Been looking for that song from a Pontiac commercial. Recently ID'd it, but it was no where to be downloaded unless you buy it so I did: The One AM Radio - What You Gave Away (alias Remix). Aight, signing off.

Finally, no classes!

I got vector feva baby! Been wanting to vector all week but got a Calculus and a Biology test to study for and all these classes are just taking up time. But since it's Friday, I can finally let my self relax and do something rather than studying. Anyway, this was a request I think... I got another one from a friend coming up then maybe I'll get to my own choice (Christina Millian!). It's all good.

Volume II's

I feel like such an idiot. First I decided not to buy my text books until I have a feel for the classes (whether I'm actually going to need them or not). Then I decided to buy online. Now one month after classes have started, I have some of my books that happens to be volume two's. That means as you open them, you will start at chapter 23 or 5. So now I must go back online and buy volume ones of these books. Argh, so frustrated. I have exams coming up really soon and the last thing I need is to be unprepared. The internet have it's limits.

Preparing for Ramadan

That's right, it's that time of the year again, where I eat nothing from sun-up until sun-down for the month of Ramadan. I am going to have to give up a lot of meal plans unless I stock up by buying whatever between classes and warming it later. Yeh, that's what I will do. I might have to skip launches if seeing people eat makes it harder for me. Hopefully I will stay focus and I have a firm belief that prayers get answered in this month. Boy do I need God's help in Biology and life in general right now. Feel really lonely though. My brother goes to a university a few minutes away yet he never calls, stop by, give advices, nothing. Well forget him, I'll be alright, been feeling alone all my life after all. So time to stock up, be humble, thankful, careful, and fast!

I think it's done

Got a headache right now, finished up this vector on a laptop at Lunch...

Denied Work

An on campus job opening was posted Monday and I applied asap only to get an email saying:

Dear mo,
I am so sorry that the ever-malfunctional UMBC email did not deliver this
message to me until this morning, and I filled the position yesterday.
However, I did forward your email to my colleagues who are also looking for
student assistants. Perhaps they will be in touch with you later this week.
Best wishes...

That's just messed up, twice I apply for simple on/around campus jobs and I get either ignored or just denied. Well screw working, this just means more time to study for my arduous classes and do more things with my time. I'm cool. Going go try to get my license today and hopefully everything will be straight.


Argh, why is it one minute I think I got my life figured out and the next I feel depress/pointless again? Existing is really a hard full -time job. I am also "vectorcrastinating" lately. I want to create some vector so bad but I can't seem to find the right mood. I always think of the homework or studying I have to do. If I get a on campus job, it will be even worst. Oh well, I'll put vectoring on hold for now. I lost my wallet (truly irresponsible of me) a couple weeks ago and now I really need stop being lazy and go to the MVA and get another one soon. I also have to go pick up my text books at home.

New Domain

My previous blog host of choice was xanga.com. I should not have been there for as long as I have but I finally stopped being lazy and moved here. How can this be free without ads, more customizable, and overall better than the so called "subscribed" xanga. I don't know. Well, glad that's over with. So yeh, took most of today editing CSS/HTML code using Aptana plugin for eclipse.